"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." — Marilyn Monroe
April Fool’s Day
For April Fool’s day, I had no person I was interested in, to make a fake relationship with, neither did I have a current relationship to do a fake break up with. SO I decide to play jokes on my two best friends. Which ended up being pretty hilarious, they both reacted in ways I expected them too. I texted them.
Linh “Lover” Ho:
Me: So, I want a divorce.
Linh: @_@ whyyyyy this is so hurtful and sudden!
Me: Happy April Fools! Loooover you are stuck with me foreverrrr don’t act like u didn’t know this was a total joke! Hahahaha
Linh: Omgaaaaah loverrrrr @_@ you hella got me to lmao hahahaha! I thought u were gonna tell me u met someone and were running off to Vegas to get married.
Me: Well ur reaction was finnier hahaha. It was either a divorce or telling u I’m getting a booby job, but i’ll use the booby job one for Crystal.
Linh: …if u told me the boob job one I would have told u to take some of my boob tissue :)
LOL.
Crystal “Crazyass” Huynh-Kim
Me: I need ur honest advice for something.
Crystal: mmk
Me: So would it be weird if I got bigger boobs?
Crystal: WTF? Yes, why? Your boobs are already big enough because of your body it will make you look like a big glob. Is this really Teena?! (DAMN, A GLOB? I asked for Honesty but did not EXPECT THAT MUCH haha)
Me:…yess? I was thinking maybe they will look nicer if they were perkier…is that really that weird?
Crystal: You’re fine weirdo. lol
Me: But why not… I know someone who can do it for half price. Do you want some?
Crystal: When did you ever care about your boobs. You are def not Teena
Me: Lol its me! Wth! Happy April Fools betch. I love you.
Crystal: Ure so ugly -_____- Hateee you
Me: Happy April Fools? Awwww thaankss and I love you too.
LOL I HONESTLY LOVE THESE TWO MORE THAN WORDS CAN DESCRIBE.
I was happy it rained.
I was happy it rained, because they I won’t have to step out the house and see a bright sunny day and think of how great it would be if you were by my side.
I was happy it rained, because then I wouldn’t feel like I’m supposed to feel happier inside
I was happy it rained, because now at least what I’m looking at around me is consistent with how I have been feeling.
I was happy it rained, because now I have another excuse besides missing you to stay in bed all day.
I was happy it rained, because now I won’t feel the urge to have to go to you.
So yes, I’m happy it rained, if only rain can wash away the dread I feel inside. I would be happy. period. Just Happy.
My conversation with a 4 year old girl.
I was hanging out with with a special someone at his place this past weekend, I decided to do some homework while he cleans his place. His little 4 year old niece shyly peaks into the room, showing only her right eye staring at me. When I looked up from my notes and looked at her she ran away… eventually she came back and had the courage to speak to me,
“Hi…”
“Hey there! What’s your name?” I said in the weird high pitch squeaky voice you use to talk to babies.
“Jasmine…what’s your name?”
“I’m Teena, how old are you Jasmine?”
Jasmine answers me and says “Hi Teena” Then puts up 4 small fingers to show me that she is 4. Then she continues to ask me a question that I’ve been avoiding lately…”How old are you?”
Me: I’m really old…
Jasmine: How old?
Me: Well, how old do you think I am Jasmine?
She hesitated a little bit to think, then continued to put up one more finger to add to the previous 4, and together showed me 5 fingers, and asked me if I was 5 years old.
Me: No, you know how old I am?………………………..I am TWENNNTTYYY THREEEEEEE!
Jasmine: 
Really though… you should of seen the look on her face when I told her I was actually almost 20 years older than her… not 1. The thought was almost too much for a 4 year old to even grasp onto. Babies are the best. :)
Easy and Difficult.
It is easy for you to gain a place in someone’s address book - but it is difficult for you to gain a place in their hearts. It is easy to find mistakes when you are judging others - but difficult to be able to judge the things you say before you say them. It is easy for you to hurt those you love - but difficult to heal those wounds. It might be easy for you to forgive others - but it is difficult for others to forgive you. It is easy to set out the principles for others - but difficult for you to follow them yourself. It is easy to dream every night - but it is difficult to hold on and fight for a dream. It is easy to express success - but difficult to realize failure. It is easy to trip and fall - but it is difficult to get up and move forward. It is easy to promise something to someone, but difficult to fulfill those promises. It is easy to tell someone you love them - but it is difficult to make them truly realize. It is easy to criticize others - but difficult for you to improve yourself. It is easy to make an error - but difficult to learn from the mistakes. It is easy to get upset because something is lost - but difficult to pay enough attention to those things, to prevent from losing. It is easy to think about one thing - but difficult to stop thinking and start acting. It is easy to distrust someone - but difficult to give trust. It is easy to take, and difficult to give. It is easy to read all these points…but it is incredibly difficult when these things happen to realize that the right decisions, are usually the hardest ones.
I would love to be doing this right now, biking around under the sun in a dress, and maybe with someone special. <3
The Five Stages Of Grief.
1. Denial “This cannot be happening to me”
temporary defense for the feeling of being left behind by a loved one.
2. Anger “Why is this happening to me, It is not fair.”
denial can not longer continue, becomes angry of the situation
3. Bargaining “I’ll do anything for…”
involves hope that somehow, some way something that you don’t want to happen can be postponed. Negotiation.
4. Depression “I’m so sad, why bother with anything.”
Begins to understand that the situation cannot be helped. Tears. Silence. Disconnect.
5. Acceptance “Nothing else can be done, it’s going to be ok.”
Comes to terms and starts to accept what has been done, is done.
Cutting and trimming your hair. Can sometimes be a metaphor. In times where you feel like you have lost control of something significant to you. You tend to try to gain control over something. anything. your hair. It’s a metaphor. Ridding and letting go of the old, so something new, and fresh can grow and take place of the old. Empowerment.
False Hope.
…is the most cruel thing you can ever give someone.
If you honestly no longer love, or like, or whatever the emotion is…someone. Just tell them. Seriously just tell them, and not later on when they have gotten in so deep, that they are impossible to be rescued.
Visualize with me for a second will you? Imagine it’s me and you and we are in some sort of relationship. We are both standing on a concrete floor. As time go by I’ve fallen deeper for you, and the ground I am standing on slowly turns into quicksand, and as time goes by the ground gets softer and softer and I am continually sinking. While the floor beneath you is still concrete, since you have developed no feelings towards me at all, you are unchanged. Seriously don’t wait, while it’s not to late pull me up, come and get me…get me ON YOUR LEVEL.
But no, some people like to just stand there and WATCH. Watch until the quicksand has goes up to chin level. Then they goes oh hey seriously “get on my level” At that point I think most of us would rather just hold our breath, and DIE.
Or you know, there’s those people who just shut you out completely and run away once you start sinking. Leaving you with no answers, no way to actually understand what is going on, leaving you to stand there in that complicated GUNK, and wonder, should I stay here and wait? Or should I try to get myself out of this mess?
False hope is cruel. It is hurtful in all forms. It not only gives the person hope that isn’t real, so they can dumbly stay where they are to slowly inflict themselves with depression and wonder, “what the hell went wrong, I thought he/she said they would (positive action that was never done) and never (negative action that has been reoccurring over, and over…and over.)” Then to just end up being stuck in a situation that they have fallen too deeply in that they have no idea how to escape.
So if you aren’t feelin’ it? Save the person, tell them the truth while it’s not too late. And clue them in. Don’t be douchey or bitchy. No one likes douchey or bitchy people.
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
